Filling a hole

I found this amazing clip from one of the greatest South Park episodes from 18th season which resonated with me on so many levels, like most things on South Park.

Well said, Satan. Who the f*** is not filling a hole man. It’s everywhere. We’re born with this hole within ourselves which we incessantly try to fill all our lives. And suddenly when we’re deprived of that thing, we feel incomplete and lost. But did we really find ourselves in the first place?

We have this notion of ourselves that is largely derived from our surroundings - our job, hobbies, groups or company we associate with, sports we follow, political parties we support. But do those things really make me who I am?

What they really do is provide our brains with dopamine kicks. A lot has been said and written about dopamine but no one can really comprehend how it works and how to manipulate your dopamine kicks for maximum efficiency. The problem with dopamine kicks is that we’re so used to it - it happens without us even realizing that we’re on a dopamine rush.

It’s like I love Instagram when I use it for less than 10 minutes daily. Just to view posts I’m interested in, reply to messages, and once in a while share something (after putting too much unnecessary thought into it). But the more I use it, the more I start craving and wishing my life was a bit more happening (according to Instagram standards), so I could share more often and get more likes/ views/ reactions.

People’s reactions on Instagram gives me a dopamine rush and makes me feel like I’m very sociable and admired by people. But really it’s just such a small, inattentive gesture that’s incites a huge response within me. The other person who reacted to my content is probably just mindlessly browsing through their feeds like everyone.

But it really makes me think that when we fill the hole with something, we give that particular thing almost your undiverted attention. We drive all our passion and energy towards that thing. We’re almost invincible when it comes to doing something we intensely feel about.

We immediately wake-up in the morning and check our phone without even stepping out of the bed. Sometimes we don’t even get out of our bed for a few more hours and keep browsing our feeds. We’re too lazy to get out of bed and start our day, but not so lazy to scroll and give our brains that dopamine rush.

I’ve tried and failed on several occasions to stop myself from filling the hole. It just doesn’t happen - I will just end up filling it with something else. So the trick here is to re-wire your brain enough so you start filling it with something healthy. I mean, that much energy and persistence could really be useful when channeled into something productive.